Friday, February 13, 2009 4:11 PM
I felt really sad yesterday.
When my mum was telling me those little small things, like what she ate, where she went with my dad and what she is planning to do the next day, a pang of sadness and guilt overcame me. I think I am my mum's closest confidante. My dad usually is out working, and whenever he's home, he just engages himself with TV, newspapers and sleep. And my brother is seldom home as well. To hear her share her daily activities with me over international call is heartwarming, but heartbreaking at the same time. Coz it meant that she didn't have someone to talk to back home. And she has to hear about my brother's busy work schedule from me, since my bro will msn me more often. There's no one there for her, and I am sad, worried and guilty.
I see my whole exchange trip as a selfish indulgence, an indulgence that I don't even have to pay for monetarily. In my applying for it, I have failed to consider the people who truly needed me. I didn't need to see the world. It was more of a want. But my mum needed me. Despite the days when I was staying in hall, she knew I was there and that I will be home for the weekend.
I wish I can be with her now.
On to happier things. I changed my return flight to 20 May, 8 days earlier than the previous return date.
I think of that as a "happy thing".
Labels: exchange
memories brings back happy moments
